Friday, December 2, 2016

After Rest

It's a new day here. The sleeping one next to me was having a hard time, and so ended up in my room. He's still so young, and he's like me with a face that looks childish, still. He'll be out the door in a few minutes. The heater, the clock tick, and perhaps the cat tearing up a box or bag will be the only sound for a while. There are dishes to do, again. There are still decorations waiting to go up. The floor needs a vacuum.

On the other hand, there is no going to work, for me. There are no major repairs to attend to. Later, my fifth grader will be free and without homework. There is no school tomorrow. We can just let it all go. Relaxation and rest will be my priorities on these two easy days. The more rest I have, the better my brain behaves.

I feel so much better about myself once I've actually had rest. I see so much more clearly how my world is becoming a better place for me. No, I don't know how long that will last. I don't know what hellish nightmare is in store for us. That, though, I'm going to leave to the future, today and tomorrow. For now, I know I did all I could with close to zero resources at my disposal. I am going to be okay, for a while.

It's all I have to hold on to, now. As the world burns, the rain falls, the blizzards start to form, my own world has not yet changed. I cling to it as I did that damned pink blanket I had until I was 8.

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