Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Bitter, Yes

The day was rather misty and cold. My head felt better, but I stayed mostly in bed. I made a few French press carafes of coffee. I had microwaved vegetables with beans. I ate a lot of other snacks. I took a generic Sudafed/Advil thing and stayed in bed. I think I feel much better. The exhaustion is still present.

In mental spheres, my head bounced around in a bitterness that I, once again, had absolutely zero support through this mess of an anniversary week. I'm trying not to take it personally that even the one post I made about it on fb went virtually unnoticed. After all, I am always the only one here for me. Mostly, people just bounce their thoughts off of me, and run off. The more people I know, the less I like people.

This is something I'm working through, today. So what if the only contact I seem to get is for someone to complain about someone else to me? That's all people ever do. Bitch about someone else at me. So I just do the same back at them. It doesn't matter. I still have me. That's why I write online so goddamned much. Since no one gives two shits about how this week affected me, I'll just write it out where I can get it out of my system. I care about me. As it was when I was fucking born, so shall it be until I fucking die, I guess.

Tomorrow, I'll feel differently again, I'm sure.


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