Penultimate, But Close Enough

The fact that I work at 4 a.m. on New Year's Day, and that things might be stressful means that I am somewhat celebrating New Year's today. I haven't really gone to a party for years. It's been much longer since I did any of the things that used to mean so much to me, at the turn of midnight. That old superstition that how I'm doing at midnight will be a portent of how the rest of the year will go has faded away.

There is still a little sadness that I will be alone for it, again this year. Valentine's Day will follow on the heels of it quickly, too. Oh, I know full well that I am okay on my own. I prefer to play my Sims on their own, because it is so much easier to see how one little being - even a digital one - can be good alone. I would rather be alone than with "just anyone" as well. I've been through enough bad dates to know I prefer loneliness to being with anyone that would make me feel worse.

If I were to spend it with someone that brings me joy, it would be the best thing, ever. However, I'll take no one at all over miserable relationships. I am just kinda sick of being alone every New Year's Day. I suppose that is why I comfort myself with the fact that the day is a random event that is much like my birthday. Life goes on, with or without a partner, right?

I've been taking it out on writing. I'm glad I can do something with it. In time, things will change. That is the only thing that remains true. Even if my workdays all seem exactly the same, right now. Change is bound to happen.

So, happy new year to everyone. I'll raise my cheap moscato for you all. Penultimate day of 2016, but close enough for me. ;)