The difference between the end of this year and the end of last year is in attitude.
Last year, I was so optimistic. Changes in my personal life were coming. I believed they would be better. I thought it would make a significant dent in all the mundane struggles I had been living with. I also believed the world would shift upward even more significantly. I truly thought we'd crossed a threshold to a new mindset. I though we would push even harder for a better world.
This year, the changes in my personal life with work look bleak and hopeless. This alone would be enough to send me into a tailspin. Add to it the fact that all progress is about to be snuffed out and repealed, and my outlook is far more than pessimistic. I'll fight, as always, but part of me wonders if it's worth the effort, anymore. I'll do most of the work I need to do out of habit. Not because I actually think it'll help.
Where most people are going to mark the end of 2016 with some major symbolic gesture of "good riddance" I feel like it's worthless. The new year will just be a continuation of this year. Everything that's been happening will continue to happen, and snowball into something so massive we can't escape. Why bother marking it off? It's an arbitrary day, anyway.
I'm not sure what comes after pessimism. Whatever you call that stage, that's where I am. This is one hell of a huge difference from last year.
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