Curious

Sunday is over, that leaves Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday. Four working days left. The two off days don't count. I'm not going anywhere near businesses on Wednesday and Thursday, if I can possibly manage it. It really isn't worth it.

I've avoided as much stress as I can, this weekend. There were minor rough patches. There was a lot of pain that suddenly went away, yesterday. Either swelling receded enough to relieve me or my nerve endings gave up. Either way, I'm okay with it. As long as I'm not in near tears anymore.

The dramatic, storyline style dreams are happening in force. Two nights ago, I had a great dream. It was full of love, security, a house to attend to, and comfort. Last night, I had a dream about making a decision to sacrifice myself to try to change things in a better direction and wake people up, which was thwarted by a co-conspirator. There was a time, before these last few months, when I didn't remember my dreams. Or the dreams I did remember were literally mash-ups of events of real days - work, arguments, driving, and the like. The vivid movie-dreams are a welcome change, but only once I've shaken the feeling they are real, and leave me upset, when they're not happy.

It isn't that I put a lot of stock into them. It's just how powerful and consuming they are to me that amazes me. My imagination never lacked. There isn't a moment I don't have actual pictures and "movies" playing in my head. Even as I watch actual shows on a screen, there is another whole world going on, inside my head. The dreams have just taken on an even more realistic quality that I was not expecting after so many months without them.

I wonder what the catalyst has been? My personal life smoothed out tremendously. The rest of the world upsets me. Strange ratio. The more turbulent my personal life, the more realistic and forgettable the dreams. The more peaceful my personal life, the more vivid and turbulent my dreams.

Soon, it'll be time to head to sleep again. I wonder what my brain has in store for me, tonight.