A lesson learned this month, along with a few other months this has happened, an extreme negativity and depression that strikes early is followed by an extremely physically painful cycle. Fact of life, for me. Not everyone. It isn't enough to keep us all walled up at home, all the time. It's just something that doctors might want to take a gander at and solve. They could make some good money out of actually trying to alleviate this in the minority who suffers this much.
Also, I find it sad that I've heard people accuse me of wanting to set women's rights back a hundred years just because I'd like this affliction someday receive some kind of effective medication. Nothing I have taken or tried to do or not do has helped. Citalopram and fluoxetine and risperdone and lithium and... you get it. Nothing touched it. Midol, ibuprofen, aspirin, naproxen, etc. did nothing for the physical symptoms to follow. Absinthe remains the one thing that actually numbs me for the time I need to get through. Sirene Verte and Lucid, specifically. I have no idea why. Bourbon and wine just give me headaches on top of it. This inconvenient time isn't enough to put women back in the home. Pointing it out doesn't have to mean doing that. Pointing it out should mean that we look into ways to combat it, altogether. Instead of ignoring it because it isn't a majority problem.
Anyway, I'm still on the coattails of the shitshow that is my uterus' terrible behavior. I should probably not write so freely. Maybe one day I'll cringe. Then again, maybe one day I'll be glad I was so honest. Never can tell with me, how I'll review my past writing.
I worked 11 hours today. I walked over 6 miles, or 10 km. I lifted a lot of weight. I bent, squatted repeatedly, pushed and pulled heavy objects. I dealt with customers, many who are really, seriously grumpy right now. Trying not to mirror them is probably harder than any other aspect of my job. I'm not exactly a good actress. No Hollywood for me! It's fucking exhausting. If you haven't tried it, don't even talk to me about how easy my job is. Shove it.
I'm working straight through until Friday. It's going to be a long week.
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