Everything is finished. I have moved my sixteen year old into a college dorm, and went to see financial aid about the weird way it wasn't fully processed yet. My son has the basics he needs, and seems adjusted.
There is a part of me that wonders if the reason he felt the need to move into the dorm immediately because of the years of watching me play, and for a while playing, The Sims 2. Teens go off to college and live at the school until they finish and graduate, in the game. He's very close to all of us, being at NKU. It's within minutes of someone who can reach him in an emergency. It's odd, because I never felt the need to live on campus, even when I moved in with roommates, it was into an apartment, off campus. It's not something I thought much about.
Right now, it won't feel too different. The schedule I've been keeping in conjunction with my ex means that they are with their dad enough that I already had to adjust to not seeing them every day. In a few days, though, I'll begin to feel it, for real. That doesn't mean watching him move into the dorm was unemotional. Oh no. I can feel the tears threatening me, already.
Every second, every step, every event, it all flies away faster than it seems, when you're in the moment. Now, here it is, the first big move. My ten year old will feel like an only child for a while. On the opposite side of the time my sixteen year old was an only child. It feels too fast, and I feel so much older and unable to hold on to what I have left.
Ooh, yeah, I'm getting emotional now. I think I'm going to stop writing.
No comments:
Post a Comment