The air is cooler and drier than it has been. It's not fall temperatures, yet. It's so much better than it was, though, that I almost enjoy the summer, again. I say almost because I'm starting to feel the numbness creep back into my brain. Not sadness, not anger, not anything at all. As much as this brings me dread, there is a part of me that is glad to go back to the nothingness. Feelings are overrated. They don't pay the rent, and they certainly don't seem to get rewarded in any other way.
The sky was such a perfect view. Puffy clouds floating along, now and then, against the most brilliant blue I've seen in a long time. No smog or humidity to spoil it. It was just cool enough to open the car windows while driving. (At standstills, however, it was far too hot, and on came the A/C.) During the school year, traffic is different, and lighter when I leave work at 12:30. I actually haven't felt road rage in months. Probably since I last drove down Covington, on my least favorite road, to pick up my oldest son, one last time.
In all, my life has improved in leaps and bounds over this summer. I have nothing to really complain about, in the big areas. I'll find plenty in the small realms, though, don't you worry. Heh. In all, I've got to say, it isn't the hopes and dreams I have had, but it is quiet and easy. It is something many would envy, really. Even without relationships and sweet little pictures. I have the basics that I lacked for decades. It will be okay. It really will.
Numbness or no, I'm okay.
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