Okay, well, there it is. The absence of my son has become obvious to me. With the sharing of custody, I knew it would be a couple days until I really, on a physical level, understood he is not living here, now. I feel it, though. My younger son said he is beginning to miss him, a little, now. Not his alter ego, of course. Just his actual brother, who gave him attention out of nowhere, and was a constant in his life. It's going to take some time to adjust.
I may have shed a couple tears yesterday. Today, I'm okay, again. It isn't like he's actually gone. He still expects me to take care of him. Just from a distance. Well, if that doesn't explain the state of adolescence, I don't know what does.
This is a good time to start exploring more for myself. My workload is far more than halved, with only a single child in the home, half the time. I don't referee non-stop. I cook less. I do less help with other tasks. See, on top of taking care of each child's needs, you have to take care of their relationship. That's what makes having two kids in the same house so much harder than doubling your workload. Of course, I only had two. Mind you, my second was a surprise, but that was quite enough for me.
The mid-afternoon naps still happen. Will I ever recover fully from day sleeping and night living while I worked 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. for five years? It was a year and a half ago. The afternoon naps are just still too delicious. I could be doing so much, but here, after I write this, I think I'm going to nap. And now that the younger has gone to his dad's house, I can. It is a privilege I don't take for granted.
Nap and Sims? Maybe.
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