Sunday, July 15, 2018

Return of the Inconsistent Writer

While I have been writing anonymously, only ostensibly, somewhere else, I don't think I need to do too much of it, anymore. There will be times when I will. There are things I can't discuss here, due to lessons learned almost two decades ago. However, there's nothing on there that is truly a revelation. I went there after being poked about it being revived by someone else. It felt good to have responses. However, I notice even there, the alt right and the fundamentalists are still a little too visible to me. At least here I'm not linked to anyone or anything. There is no "front page" it will show up in.

Therefore, I'm reviving this "blog"-  but as a personal journal - to be viewed by anyone that wants a window into me. (I know this audience of mine has dwindled, with my persistent encouragement, to a half dozen people.) I don't care. Once upon a time, what I said made some people feel better about their own struggles. That was validating. Now, I am 45, a single mom, working nights in general labor, and really uninspired by fiction or poetry anymore. It's not a niche where I will find an audience, and I don't mind, anymore.

I'd also like to link myself to written words, again. I'm tired of complete anonymity. I've been thinking hard about it for a long time. So, yes, I will rant about politics. I'm more left than most people I really "know" in real life. I'm not left enough to be pure enough for some. I have explored the use of "stupid" and "crazy" and found the arguments against their use lacking a true ableist label. I know that's unpopular. But look, until people can tell me why someone who was spit on and threatened and called "queer" by many people who used it as a slur isn't allowed to be upset by the word being attached to me, but I'm supposed to throw out my lack of reaction to using stupid weather or crazy driver because those words were used a couple times to hurt other individuals, maybe I'll give a shit. Right now, I've accepted no one else cares about the word "queer" the way I do. Maybe those purists can do the same and figure out most of us don't feel anything when we hear "stupid" or "crazy." I mean, this isn't the n or r words. Those are still definitely slurs used to oppress whole groups of humans.

So, that's my warning. Stupid and crazy might end up in my writing. Sorry not sorry. Move on, dears.

I'm at the tail end of my middle week of vacation. Now I have to get through half of July, August, and then half of September before I have anything to really look forward to. I stocked up on new Sims content to try to help me through. My fun meter will probably be just in the "green" bar for a while. My energy will be on yellow for a while. And let's hope my brain cooperates for a while.

I have a slightly different schedule for a couple weeks. It's still overnights. It'll resume the EDIETS mode after that. Not that the schedule change really brings love or pain, but it will be slightly different.

I've been waiting rather impatiently for the Doctor Who trailer for a couple months, now. I've seen some leaked photos and a specific plot point I wish I hadn't seen. I managed to skip the leaked scenes videos. I haven't any idea if they are even real. I clicked off of them immediately. After all, I've got NIN videos to watch. Both old and new uploaded recently. That's been a good distraction. So I have no idea what the trailer will be like. Hope it shows up soon.

Until then, I've got to get myself ready for sleep again. I'm sure getting back to work tonight is going to be harder than it should be. Oh well.

Here's to the next two months of waiting for Gary Numan and NIN, and then whenever VNV gets around to ticket sales, I can anticipate that show. ***edited to add, thinking of this prompted me to check up on it. And it was on sale, but for whatever reason, I got NO notifications from anyone anywhere. So I bought that. My 5th pending show. The 6th of the year. That's quite a lot for me. I'm happy. Okay, well, content.

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