There's nothing I'd rather do than go back to the days when there was civil discourse between differing opinions. This hostile environment of factions turning into tribal wars isn't exactly my favorite thing. The problem comes by way of the authoritarians that want to curb stomp people like me. No, I am not going to roll over and let them do this to us. I'll side with the refugees and undocumented people over those that want to murder anyone that is even slightly different - by looks, by sexual activities, by faith. When one side is calling for their members to shoot me in the street, then my answer is not to bow my head and be quiet. Silence and diplomacy become complicity. I'm not going to be the one to keep my mouth shut about being horrified by taking children away from parents with no desire to reunite them. This isn't a difference of opinion. One side is dehumanizing/demonizing people and quite content with these terrorizing methods of punishment toward people who just wanted out of a different horror. I'm not going to throw my hands up and say "That's too bad, I disagree" and roll over. These are people calling for the death of anyone they perceive as liberal. There is no civility, already.
The "lack of civility" conversation is always from the side that wants me to conclude that these people deserve to have their children removed, and locked away where they have to toilet in front of each other, and that toilet never gets cleaned. And fuck, those are the reports from places where people can get in. I can't imagine what we're hiding. The tribal lines might be getting harder between us, yes, but that's because the two sides are so clearly alien to each other, now. I'm not going to sit here and say people who think these abuses we're inflicting on The Other are okay just to maintain civility and some fantasy of solidarity with others born in this country (who look like me.) I'm not okay with it.
I don't give a single fuck if people think this diminishes my "tolerance." I have always rejected the tolerance portion of being liberal. The idea liberals were supposed to be tolerant to some extreme was something my dad brought to my attention a few decades ago. I guess when you spend your life thinking that you have to toe the line of your party, you can't see how anyone else wouldn't feel the need to become the straw man of their party. I've never been particularly happy with the concept of purity. This is a common theme studies bring up about conservatives - the need for racial, religious, sexual, and ideological purity. Trying to reason with someone about not being tolerant of intolerance is extremely difficult because conservatives see things so clearly black and white.
When the conversation can be civil on both sides, I'll go back to being civil and tolerant. Until then, I'm not going to pretend to be chums with people who are pleased with the horrors we're engaging in. It may look like tribalism to people who aren't listening to the conversation. It's far beyond that, though.
So yeah, take that meme of the two voters being friends and shove it. This isn't pineapple on pizza or how to divide up the taxes we pay more equitably or whether the opening prayer in Congress violates the first amendment. This is torturing human beings, at this point. And don't tell me no one's saying they deserve this, because I've read the plentiful, shitty comments. I've heard people saying it out loud around me. Open your ears and eyes, if you think it's just a matter of lack of civility. I'm definitely not taking the blame for our downfall when I see just what we have become. I'm not okay with it, and I'm not okay with people who are okay with it.
I'm not going to lose any sleep over one less person in my online world spewing the toxic sludge I've been seeing. If they want to blame me for not being "tolerant" of their disgusting words, so be it.
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