Now and Next

Meanwhile...

*giggles*

My healing is just about done. I'm a bit bloaty in the region that is still working on rebuilding the tissues, nerves and blood vessels. There was something in my head for the last two days, though. Sinus pressure, ears popping and ringing, dehydration, exhaustion when I haven't done a thing. It could just be allergies, but it felt more like fighting off a virus. I'm still napping on and off. I'll attempt to go on another long walk after it cools down.

The walks are good for me. There is a section of the road that feels uncomfortable. Though it's 30 mph through that section, people fly through at about 50 or so. The sidewalk is not buffered with a bit of grass on the side nearest the road. It is just sidewalk to road. Considering the copious amounts of deer in that region with those speeds, I'm surprised there aren't a lot more accidents.

I have two more weeks until I return to the heavy physical activity my job requires. I hope that the swelling in my abdomen goes down more. It sometimes feels a bit sore, but not like before the surgery. I've got percocet left if the first few days are that terrible. I also have a prescription of ibuprofen waiting for me to pick it up. I should do that. I will probably need it after a day of lifting well over 50 lbs repeatedly, bending, pulling, pushing, and walking 15,000 steps on slow days, and over 20,000 on bad days.

I hope these voicemails I keep leaving get heard and responded to, as well. Having a second emergency arrive at the same time as my surgery has left me broke until I start receiving those payments. Once I'm back at work and those payments come in, I will be fine, but financially and emotionally, I am nearly broken from all of these things I've been dealing with.

Unlike others, there's no family to cover bills for me when things get rough. Unlike others, there's no staying afloat through the tough times. I am the only source of my money. Unlike some people, the only support I have is the help I get with my housing, right now. I'm glad I didn't move yet. However, my credit is definitely improving, and I may be on my way out of here once everything settles down. That is the final step to total rebuilding from where I was in 2010. It was just myself and the complex's help. No one else. So as bitter as I have been, I feel proud to claim that I remain successful in my survival. No matter what others may think about it. No one else is helping me, after all.

The only good thing that came of this was that I already have all my information filled out on the FAFSA website. If I can just overcome the last anxiety about explaining why I pulled out of college in 1993, and why I am only going back now, I already have half the battle won. I was approved for funds. I just need to make calls to get UC to free my transcripts from the computer glitch, then apply to a school. And maybe figure out what to apply FOR. That's my next goal. (That and losing 25 pounds to help my feet, but the school thing is bigger.)

I have three concert tickets. I hope to get to go to all of them. If not, at least I know I can make two of them. This is the next thing I look forward to, in the short term. NIN/New Order/Saul Williams, and VNV Nation, here I come.