I'm fairly certain that my written words have been viewed by many people. Not as much now that I'm older, and haven't progressed. However, it warms my heart to know that someone I don't pay attention to has taken such a long-term interest in my writing. Cheers to you who come over to see how I've done over the years.
On a less vaguepost note, I am still having my moments of struggle. I'm angry with myself for having stepped down. Now that I've had a week away from the place, I feel like I gave up at a weak moment. A moment when I was dealing with things I dared not write, speak or even think, for the most part. Everything welled up inside me and I broke. I cried. Tears actually came out of me. It was intense and now it's gone, and I already gave up the challenge. Did I make the wrong decision? I can't just say "Wait! No, let me try again" now. This was one of those things that I can't get back. After vacation, though, I always feel better.
It seems I've been relegated to drone status. Patted on the head and moved out of the way. And I hate that even more.
Damn it.
You know what? I really like me. I don't know why others don't.
I give up too soon on many things, though. Maybe that's all.
I don't know.
I'm floundering. I don't know what to do.
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