Well and Not Well

I've reached the end of my brain. It can go no further. No matter how much I know, how much I can take in, I can't make it work for me. All of it sits there, and festers. I don't grow. I just fill up with useless information. It's not like that for other people. The ability to use what they know comes easily. They have longer skeins of cloth to use than I do.

Communicating this fact is difficult. Theory of mind - the ability to know that other people have different experiences than oneself - seems to dry up as we get older. If they can do it, everyone can do it. It doesn't work like that.

I absorb a lot. That doesn't mean that I can use it, though.

And because I've used up all the "cloth" I have, I am now stuck. I lost time, yesterday. Big clue. My invisible illness has been activated.

Now, I stew and cry. I will never be anyone. I will never accomplish anything. I'm at the end. This is as far as I go. Sorry.